My Uncle Butch in Louisville, Kentucky, the one who still participates in that grotesque, paranoia-infested, hate group sent me an email today which had an attachment and the subject of the email was "Archaeology." I didn't open it because I'm scared of what the possibilities are, but I think I'll open it later. Today is a free day! I have some homework to do and other things to catch up on, but I see the wind blowing today as a sign that I should just relax, that the time will come to me as it did on Tuesday. The shutters and blinds are hitting each other with each gust and I keep thinking that someone is entering the house and then I remember that it's just the wind this time.
Last night that one anti-depressant commercial came on. The one with the lady and the perfect family and the wind-up doll that she keeps by her side. And when she's sad, the doll is sad and won't move, and when she's "happy" it will wind up and have a smile and walk all proudly. It's kind of a weird commercial. It said one may have depression if they experience memory loss and such. Then we started talking about how if you were depressed and you suffered memory loss, what if you forgot like every day that you were depressed, and that was the cycle? So, you'd be on these pills because you've been diagnosed and then you forget one day why you feel so numb and you can't figure it out until you remember that you are clinically depressed or someone reminds you, and then fall down under again. Every time!
Then Taren started making fun of the lady ha ha, and called her stupid for being depressed and not getting over it because she has this happy family - complete with dog and green grass and little Johnny Jr. But what if she's trapped in the marriage and you can't see that her husband is actually beating her or the child, or is an alcoholic or something? What if she's actually being selfless in sticking around for the sake of her kid or her side of the family or SOMETHING and that's why she's depressed, cause she's trapped in something she can't deal with on her own?
Sometimes I like commercials way better than the actual TV shows I'm watching because they are shorter and keep my attention span, and if they are funny or interesting or ignorant or really sad then it intrigues me. So then this other awesome commercial came on. It was an advertisement for KY Touch (lube) and there was this dormant Asian couple laying in this bed together, talking about the significance and positive results of this lube and then the wife got all embarrassed and hit him a little, and he giggled and said, "So loud..." then she smiled and they both started smiling or something. Then it went to explain the statistic of women who say it enhances their pleasure a billion times over and that every woman should buy it... then they show the couple again, heads on each other's shoulders, both sighing an orgasmic relief. There was a female moan at the closing of the commercial and it was so awesome! We all agreed because it's rare that a sexual enhancement commercial is based solely around the woman's pleasure.
I feel like I've been pretty patient lately... but not patient enough. It hasn't been over a year. And I was writing yesterday and realized that Liz was the last one to actually take the time to make me come and make sure of it! Besides that one time... But that's a little depressing to me. Especially since lately I've been attracted to men and want to have sex with a man, and the girl thing is on the back burner. Men, man. Niki is leaving on Saturday I think, and lately she's been telling me the problems she's been having with her significant other, and absolutely everything she's told me describes Joe, but I hesitated to illuminate that connection for some reason... Because maybe I'm ashamed and and should have known and again, it's all my fault.
It's still her fault, how could she think that a guy would want a blow job and if he didn't want it then how could she think that he would just say no? That's all she did, and it's still all her fault. His actions and his words to others take all consideration, and the blow job was the start of it all. If she wasn't such a slut and didn't give him a blow job, his poor mind wouldn't undergo all this shit and lead him to act delinquently. Stupid girl.
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