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I hung out with Carly, Jen, Brittany, and Rochelle for like an hour at Starbucks. It was cool getting to see Carly, though nothing is ever new it seems. I feel like there is a lot of new going on for me right now, but there is so much of it and it's so NEW and I have to adapt to it and get used to it, it feels familiar. I haven't felt this way since I first got my license or something. But nothing like that is happening, everything is just changing so rapidly. I have to start applying for schools and today I had a vision that I just wont, and I'm not going to...

I feel that this "struggle" with my sexuality and such is more consuming that I thought. I feel that I can tell people that I'm bi, and that's the way it is. I probably don't have to go so far to even say that, but it makes me feel better. I feel asexual sometimes, and I've been celibate for a while, like more than a couple months. I feel like I've gone longer than anyone I know right now without some beautiful connection with someone. I feel a little empty sometimes, but so passionate and hopeful that it is just covered up, and it becomes needed and not wanted. I feel like I am wanting it so much lately that I'm beginning (since when does beginning have two n's???) to need it. Is it okay for me to tell them that I think about them at least once every day? Is it okay that I fall in love like once a day? No, it's not. Is it okay for me to pursue these withstanding moments in time, hoping that they might continue in a different direction through space so I can take a new perspective and expand my horizon with another mind and with love and lust? No. Psycho bitch. I can't even tell you how much I think about you.

Something to fill my head for a moment because nothing else is ever enough. I'm writing nothing and searching for content for my life constantly full of just stuff. I can't because I do not know. I can't because I'd have no where to go.