Saturday, July 18, 2009

Quick Jot

It's bad to avoid eye contact, isn't it?

That means a whole heap of shit. All pointing to the same insecurity/inability/fear...?

The wall is getting higher and higher, rising, I'll be stuck soon. I feel like I am waiting here...

I feel like if I lived on my own, certain things would not be shown in the interest of others... I feel a lack of privacy, but that's impossible... I find a lack of motive, care, respect????


:sweat:

I hate everyone except you five people.

I get invited to this show, I (try and) bail about two hours before hand, bail over a text message, get a call and a ride and an offer to buy the ticket... how could I refuse? Could I refuse? Can I still say that I hate people after something like that? Can I say that I hate the people because I can't handle them, or because they can't handle me?
Can I say that... I feel a coldness?

It's hot as fuck.
I am dark from the sun.
I feel a love, distant.
I feel a distant fire burning, glowing in the mist, amongst the dust.

I'm laying here sweaty.
I just exist.

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