Feeling peculiar...

I felt anxious leaving my house today.
Agoraphobia?

baaaaah

Feeling quite peculiar.

On the drive home I had many thoughts. They were all going my really fast. I've noticed a lot of the same thoughts reoccurring in my head. I think a lot about certain things. And those are the things that are consuming me at the time. Those thoughts have various possible out comes, premeditated in my head. If one thing goes this way, act this way.

I feel like I have different levels of privacy. Two electronic journals, two online profiles, a note book... Sifted thoughts enter some. Some become realities. Thoughts once dreams appear illustrated before my eyes. The world is so beautiful it is false, all the nooks and crannies, and processes, and communication, and people... all the beautiful people! These dreams aren't necessarily good or bad, positive or negative advances, but just occurrences, consequences, examples, warnings...

False impressions: inescapable?

I think I am not a good driver because I was never good at video games. I feel like I have had a lot of very close accidents occur, when I give up, just slam on the breaks, and hope that the trash can will just fly over me, and it would be over with. That I'd hit the ditch and fuck up my car and have to deal with it. That I'd hit a dog or a person even, and I feel ready for that consequence. I feel prepared to deal with the worst case scenario. At least for a little while.

I have a band-aid on my forehead.

I saw Cory Fabulous' house today for the first time. Cool little spot in the Orange Circle, room mates, cool decor... It was a nice warm, welcoming place for sure. The windows were cool, and he had to-the-floor curtains, a semi shitty used couch, but comfy, a coffee table that didn't match the entertainment center... I loved it! It was so homey.
"I felt that everyone there was there to judge me. But then I realized that must have been a false impression" the Stranger.....page....

tired... of thinking, living.... at the moment! I can't say I've ever felt this way beore.
Constant reaching out
Capitalism