I am forcing myself to write right now, because that's what my creative writing teacher suggested. The class seems fun, but I am/was totally not prepared for school as I have been in the past. The first week is already gone, and I've only attended two classes. My English teacher is a hippie and has a long white pony tail. The textbook we are supposed to be using talks a lot about journaling, and keeping a journal is a requirement for the class, so yay, I'm already ready for that part. And we get extra credit for reading our shit aloud to the class. Vanessa mentioned reading vulgar ass shit and I must say that is not a bad idea.
I'm listening to Lady GaGa and drinking wine like this
Now I may force myself to read because my teacher also said that he'd laugh in the face of the writer who doesn't read. Of course it makes sense. Go ahead, laugh at me.
But he likes the Buk, and he likes the beats, and he hates the south. He's from Jersey. He used to write obituaries for the paper. He is soft-spoken. We went around the room talking about ourselves. The first kid went something like this (I was the third kid): "HEY! My name is Eric and I'm an English major. I love reading and I absolutely love to write, especially poetry. Um, something interesting about me is I am a musician, yeah, I play guitar and I just want to be a teacher, I also hope to write a novel one day, that is my ultimate goal."
The second went like this: "HEY! I'm Katy (or something) and I'm also an English major. I work at a comedy club at night both on stage and behind the scenes doing lighting and such. I am part of an improv drama/comedy group. I love reading poetry and writing it. I am also an actor and think that this class will help me in all aspects."
Then I went like this: "My name is Ta- Tatiana. Uhm, I have an undeclared major, and I used to live in San Francisco."
Teacher: "Do you miss San Francisco?"
me: "yes, I visit like once a month."
Half of me was super nervous because my heart was hella pounding because I was too focused on listening to the same 10 seconds of "Just Dance," in my head, and the other was really not caring about school or this class and putting myself down, thinking that I'm stupid for wanting to write or excel or get "better" at it or what have you... delusional shit. I left minutes before the class was let out anyway, in the middle of a reading, stupidly, egotistically. My ego was shrunken by these "wonder women," miss I have two kids and work two jobs and go to school full time, Mr. I sing in an a capella band and used to make guitars by hand, miss I love Biden, Mr. funny man who was the only one who stood up to introduce himself.
I was just over it. And there was a Miss I can read a book in four hours, oh, and this one time, I read fifteen books by the same author in one weekend HEHEHEHEHEHEHHEE.
All I can say is that I lived in San Francisco two years ago, I work too much, I don't read enough, I write a lot of bullshit, I update various journals, I have not shaved my legs in over a year. Good for you, Tati. I have a love-hate relationship with the bleeding heart liberal. I used to play drums but gave up - I used to care but gave up (not entirely true). I used to not think and now I do too much of that. My hair doesn't grow.
Though I did enjoy hearing people say that they first got into writing creatively in high school, because they had this one really rad teacher. Maybe that will be me someday. PShhhhhh.....
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I wished for "everything to work out."
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