Every pool of water reminds me of you, is that alright?

The days are getting brighter and more visible, less cloudy, less consumed.
I am hopeful at this point.

Two more months or so in this cement tower and then three or more months in hot, sunny, dry, Orange County. I'm hoping for the beach every week at least, and lounging by the pool. Working seldom about 20 hours a week, saving it mostly to return to the City.

I heard people form the East Coast hate how people over here call San Fran the City 'cause they call NYC the City. Blah blah blah. And people call the West Coast just, "the coast" and people from the East Coast say, "back East." Lingo shmlingo.

I'll be purchasing a MacBook in the near future, I'm excited for that.

New news is Cesar and I might be moving in together and I envision us jamming and writing music, silly or not. My mind is turning constantly thinking of him (not Cesar) at home, what it's going to be like. I initiated conversation the other night as I was walking home, drunk of course. If I was sober I would not have the excitement in my veins to hear his voice. In fact, I dread it to an extent. What can someone call that? Like if you're on drugs and you "can't handle something" or when you've just had an orgasm and anymore penetration or stimulation can make you "not handle it." Is there a word for that? I should find that out.

I heard from my cousin today who I honestly thought I'd never see again. He's supposedly coming to the city in mid June and wants to buy me lunch. We seriously haven't talked since I was 15 or 16. I'm excited to see him though, he's a Cancer. I think it will be fine 'cause I have a feeling we can connect better now. He barely sees or talks to his parents as do I. He lives in L.A. and I live in S.F. Whatever, man.

We've planned to go to the beach one night and just talk. I can't wait to hug him and talk to him about the last few years or months. I want to hear everything and I want to tell him everything, easily, like it used to be... I want closure and some sort of classification on our relationship. Although, last night he asked me if I had a man (ha) and I said no... Sex would be nice. It would be sober, and a first time thing. I can't believe we still talk.

Human relationships trip me out. It's almost impossible for me to forget some people.

It makes me want to talk to Brett.
Ugh.

I have work in an hour. I have fresh herbal remedies. I have good people in my life. I have a future. I have love to give and receive. I have music for my ears. I have art for my eyes.
What more can bring happiness?