Flat

like my hair.

I've learned how to manipulate the falling of my hair with this new conditioner... how fucking interesting is that?

I am anti-relationship but I have open options, and they must stay open. My love has been dissipating, I have been allowing some sorts of entrance, maybe not enough. My darkness seeps out in awkward and trying times, I can't help it. There are certain people who never change in my perceptions, but how is that if I feel like I am changing so much? I feel radically different than I did last year, why do my customs/habits prevent me from allowing the other to show their change? That doesn't make sense.

My philosophy test was cancelled today and we yelled and called our teacher a mother fucker! We all studied together, hard, laughed, cried (not really), and then the test was postponed. Studying tomorrow "down town" at 2pm. So I decided to ditch art too. I need to by a new drawing pad...

I tried to feed Sisyphus cheerios yesterday but he couldn't chew or swallow them, they just got stuck in his lips and fell out later. Covered in loving drool. I cam home the other night high as fuck and he was stuck outside in the rain.. it was sad. Four hours later I had to clock in for work, stayed out all night again with another four hours of sleep to work, stayed up... slept for about seven hours. I felt spinny and dizzy when I woke this morning.

We talked about not much. Said I was exciting.

Thought in bed the other night. About crashing waves of cause and effect, new mental impressions, arrows with squiggly tails. Thought about ear popping at certain elevations, the constant conjunctions of contiguity, the habitual expectations we assign to waking up in the morning.

I wanna be friends I wanna be cool with you.
"Get yourself in top of me, before I'm gone" - Tegan and Sara