I wanna go back to sleep...

I am currently rediscovering "In Reverie" by Saves the Day and "The Moon and Antarctica" by Modest Mouse. I lost my original CD of that album which makes me really really sad, because all the shit available for download on the internet is the remastered album which is bullshit. My copy was the purple one, with the shaking hands, this one is the baby blue one... Remastered is so disgusting, but this album is beautiful.

I have nothing to do today besides go to class at 7. This weekend was very long. I think it's kind of sad that I reach a point in the night where I am quite alright with not remembering anything else. The fact that I was there where I was was good enough for me, whether conscious or not. I find that sad. I am not a puppet and am not just a figure in the background. I need to stop doing that, the gash on my arm is not a cool scar and if it is to some people, then I have nothing to say... I have a death wish. I am reading this book of quotations called "And Then She Said..." It's good.

"Troubles, like babies, grow larger with nursing." - Lady Caroline Holland

"...I have found life to be incredibly theatrical and theatre to be profoundly lifeless." - Beah Richards

Does anybody know a way that a body could get away?

Oh my god, I had a horribly vivid dream last night. I woke up sad and confused, my stomach hurts. There is one spot on the right that is pulling and tearing, rhythmically. Of course then for breakfast I ate something that was guaranteed to make it worse. I miss him so much... This quote helps me rationalize for a few moments at a time.

"We must find our duties in what comes to us, not in what might have been." - George Eliot

...i wanna remember to remember to forget you forgot me.... i wanna look out the window of my color tv.....