Brain Dead

I haven't updated this in a while. Mostly because I see and talk to the people who read it daily ;)

Joe is actually coming tonight, my bad... I work an eight hour shift tomorrow and I don't think I have the courage to call in sick for the third weekend in a row. God damnit!

I am nervous... He wants a relationship but who knows what I want. Honestly, I don't think I am at the most stable part of my life for a serious relationship... That's not my fault, right?

I don't even know why I came to my first class today. I sat there for an hour and a half erasing everything I drew, fucking up the canvas and leaving with nothing. I have to design my perfect paradise and/or a political statement. I tried enlarged flowers with silhouettes of women, zombies ate my neighbors character, lemming floating by an umbrella, LIFE car filled with pons, wind-up woman from the '60s with go-go boots, t.v. head people, pathetic pathology atsrology. It looks like I need some inspiration. Maybe after this weekend I will be inspired. I'll have to buy a brand new canvas and sit down, smoke a bowl, and try again. I don't want to draw a beach with palm trees and I don't want to draw a landscape. At the same time I don't want to draw another fading color background with transparent face and little children and text... though that's where I was going with the enlarged flowers and silhouettes of women. It could work... the Aries in me thinks that I will go with my first idea solely 'cause it was the first, and how could I leave that behind?
Or maybe I just pulled that out of my ass.

Astrology is cool because you can see the animal in the person. I can totally see myself with huge antlers hehe. And Jen as a lion!? Come on. Vicki as a fish, Bailey as a scorpion... I can see it! Joe as a goat-man with a bow and arrow!

Maybe I can do a self portrait of me with antlers..? That could be cool. Ew, so I am my own paradise and/or political statement? Gag.

I am going to leave after I turn in my anthro project and sign in. That way I can clean the apartment and go buy a canvas? With what car? Ew! I am so flustered right now!

Got my period bright and early. I knew it was going to happen, haha.

Now I have to email a friend from class 'cause I'm using him for my interview 'cause Jacob blew me off. BLAH.

brain dead and surface scraping.....